Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..