Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to snug with you.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

You want my snuggie?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(807): View more from Ontario

The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.

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(716): View more from New York

took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.

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(315): View more from New York

well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?

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