how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You coming home soon, man?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
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i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?