and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
