.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
