Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
