Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
