question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
