In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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