I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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