He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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