dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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