Jerry, you need to find god
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
