Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
