please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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