My sheets look like a crime scene.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
