you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
