If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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