I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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