last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
