i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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