dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
