What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
