Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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