everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
