I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just forgot I was standing up.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
