What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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