You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
