She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
