My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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