I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
