Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
