So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
