why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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