There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
