He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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