So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
