I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
