if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize