Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
