k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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