So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
