i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
