You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize