Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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