Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
