ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
3pm strippers are depressing
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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