Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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