Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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