accomplished twins. life is a go
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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