note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
