But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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