I don't think brook has ever known best
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
