i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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