so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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