People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
