I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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