I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
