Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm both gender and math confused
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
