Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
