I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
as a side note pls kill me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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