You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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