Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
