Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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