I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize