I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
