You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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