Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize