i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
