Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
