I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
